26 things I have learned.


Things I've learned.

26 Things I have Learned.

  1. People are always testing you.
  2. Hygiene is important
  3. Plants give back.
  4. The more you spend the less you will have.
  5. All suffering comes from desire.
  6. Desire is an incentive for invention.
  7. Desire is motivation
  8. Others have different goals than you do.
  9. When other’s goals do not match yours then it may be best to move on.
  10. Books provide a place to hide.
  11. If you want something, you may have to work for it very hard.
  12. Where do you want to be in 5 years and planning how to get there is very important
  13. Your plan for being healthy is very important.
  14. Running is not necessarily healthy.
  15. Quantity time with loved ones is very important.
  16. You can’t fix everything, or everyone, or anyone most times, but you can try.
  17. Ask for help.
  18. Call people.
  19. Hug yourself.
  20. You can hate people more than you ever dreamed you would.
  21. Failure is an option.
  22. There are many species that have become extinct, not just dinosaurs.
  23. There are many definitions of lifestyle that can make one happy, but perhaps only one that will work for you.
  24. You can run, but you can’t hide. So tears will flow, and there will have to be other ways to get back at the universe that aren’t destructive.
  25. Dance, sing, and create without an eye for other’s taste, and dance, sing, and create with an eye for other’s taste.
  26. Work outside your comfort zone.


Many should stop usage of drugs and alcohol, learn that antidepressants can cause suicidal thoughts and just call someone so that they can understand there are other points of view to find ways out of a situation which might make you suicidal. Even if you are trapped there are ways to forget your trap.

Stop Trying to Fix It, Just Listen

Dr. Gail Gabbert

As a marriage counselor I frequently hear couples complain about poor communication. Although it could be either the man or woman, it is most often the woman who says he never listens, he is always trying to fix the problem for her.

There is a YouTube video that captures the strained couple’s dynamic beautifully. It’s called “It’s Not About the Nail.” In the video, the couple is sitting on the couch and she describes a pain in her head that won’t go away. She wants him to understand her pain and she cuts him off when he tries to offer a solution. The scene expands and we see that she has a nail in her forehead. He is as frustrated trying to address the source of her pain as she is in her search for empathy. She says “It’s not about the nail” meaning that she doesn’t want the problem…

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Inky Breadcrumbs and the Forgotten Magic of Writing by Hand

EJB Writing Studio

Photo by Erin J. Bernard Photo by Erin J. Bernard

Hey, writer! When was the last time you took a good look at your own hands? I mean, a really, really good long look?

Sure, they’re fluttering in and out of the periphery of vision over the course of any average day, assisting in the picking up and setting down of life’s dull and delightful objects. But, most often, their task feels secondary – to hold up for inspection the things you’ve deemed far more fascinating: smartphones, babies, books, burritos.

There’s little incentive to notice them. And this strikes me as odd. So do it now. Have a good, long gander. What do you see? Look carefully: your hands are miraculous, surprising, ordinary, and, for my money, entirely underappreciated.

You’re in good retroactive company. I’m first writing this by hand, in fact, down here in Mexico, though by the time it reaches its final destination…

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7 Tactics of Highly Effective Harassers: How A Voice for Men’s Internet Hate Machine works

we hunted the mammoth

A Voice for Men mocks the fears of one of its targets of harassment A Voice for Men mocks the fears of one of its targets of harassment

The self-described “Men’s Human Rights” site A Voice for Men is a hate site trying — admittedly not very hard, or convincingly — to pose as a human rights organization. In reality, as I and various other writers have documented in considerable detail, it’s an organizer and amplifier of hatred, directed at feminists and women more generally.

Much of this hatred is directed at specific targets, mostly though not always feminist women who have offended A Voice for Men’s founder Paul Elam. The aim is generally to terrorize feminists into silence.

I’ve written at length about AVFM’s campaigns of vilification and intimidation in the past; for a recent example as well as numerous links to discussions of past examples, see here.

Today I will  look at some of the specific tactics that AVFM uses…

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Fox News Suicide

Wish the person who committed suicide due to the alleged workplace abuse, would have used his documentation in a more productive way.  Having worked at places where this occurs I regret not doing anything about this practice.

Law of Attraction

I’ve read criticisms of the “Law of Attraction” and tend to believe “Law of Attraction” followers are a bunch of right wing white ammosexual backwards idiots who read the buybull.  One of the things they say is always be positive which is the “We live in the best of all possible worlds” Voltaire’s Candide optimism crap antagonistic to the idea that we should question authority and believes that ‘to complain’ is pretty much sacrilege and should be condemned as counterproductive.  Complaining is listening to one’s heart a sort of mental orgasm that should not be blocked otherwise you will make yourself sick and are effectively lying to yourself.  Technically, if someone says “I’m fine” you should move on from them because they are probably lying.  Maybe you should do the exact opposite of what the “Law of Attraction” entails and then you will find the real people, the critics who are looking at things without those rose colored glasses.